Puzzling Questions
Most people think of puzzles as trivial diversions. But planning to avoid taxes is a puzzle, too. And, as the English economist John Maynard Keynes once said, “The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that still carries any reward.” So, while tax planning may not be as fun as finishing a crossword puzzle (in ink), we think you’ll agree it’s far more rewarding.
National Puzzle Day that sounded so much fun about at the beginning of the article is starting to look about as fun as that new Escape Room movie, right? Don’t worry . . . when it comes to organizing your business, or any other tax challenge, we’re here to find the best solution. We really like these puzzles, and nobody does it better!
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Tax questions do occasionally sneak into an actual court. So join us now for this week’s story, which begins on the banks of the Ohio River. And while today’s Cincinnati Reds may be a pale shadow of the 1970s “Big Red Machine,” fans still flock to the riverfront Great American Ballpark on game day — especially when the team gives away player bobblehead dolls.
Wall Streeters have a lot to give thanks for this holiday season. Earnings are up, so bonuses are up. And that, in turn, means taxes are up, too. The New York Post just reported that Wall Street Bankers Are Throwing Excessive Parties To Dodge Taxes . But will the wining and dining actually put money back in their pockets? Or is the tax angle just a convenient excuse to party up a storm on the company tab? 
Some of the world’s most popular board games give players the chance to live out professional fantasies. Aspiring property sharks can cheat each other with the classic Monopoly. Would-be Sherlock Holmeses can track down killers with Clue. Armchair generals can settle down to an evening of Risk. But until today there’s never been a game to let aspiring tax planners outwit the Internal Revenue Code. Shouldn’t that be at least as much fun as figuring out it was Colonel Mustard in the Library with the candlestick?
Aretha Franklin left this world with a musical legacy for the ages. The Queen of Soul started singing for her father’s “gospel carnival tours” at 12, cut her first record at 18, and scored her first hit a year later. She went on to record 112 hit singles, including 20 #1s, and won 18 Grammies. She performed for presidents and even sang for a real queen (of England). When word broke of her death last month, many questioned who on earth could possibly sing at her funeral? (Answer: Stevie Wonder, Jennifer Hudson, and many more.)
Last week, a California lawsuit involving Monsanto Corporation’s flagship product, Roundup weed killer, reveals how the new math of last year’s tax law changes the rules. A San Francisco-area school groundskeeper named Dewayne Johnson, who sprayed up to 150 gallons of the pesticide at a time, sued Monsanto, claiming it gave him cancer. The jury agreed and awarded him $289 million, including $39 million in compensatory damages and $250 million in punitive damages.
Classic rock fans celebrated a milestone birthday on July 26: Rolling Stones front man and rock legend Mick Jagger turned 75! If that doesn’t make you feel old, try these on for size: Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler is old enough to collect maximum Social Security benefits. Cyndi Lauper still just wants to have fun, but now she’s on Medicare. And 80s icon Madonna can finally take money from her IRA without paying a 10% penalty on early withdrawals.
Last month, we wrote that New York money manager AllianceBernstein is moving its headquarters and 1,100 employees from a slick black Manhattan skyscraper to the steaming concrete jungles of Nashville, TN. It’s going to be culture shock for the firm’s employees, who have to trade their harsh winters and corned beef sandwiches for milder weather and hot fried chicken. But AllianceBernstein promises employees they’ll love the financial climate most of all: lower housing costs and no personal income tax. Of course taxes played a big part in that move!
Michael Shvo may be the most theatrical real estate guy of all. He started out as a brash Manhattan broker, squiring buyers in a chauffeur-driven limo and trademarking the slogan, “Let’s Shvo.” He enlisted celebrity designers like Giorgio Armani and musicians like John Legend to help sell showy condos to showy buyers. Now he’s reinvented himself as a developer, with current projects designed to make everyone else’s projects look like college dormitories, or maybe Soviet-bloc worker collectives.